I want to talk about routine—and how having a structured one really helps me.
My routine is pretty consistent, and it goes a little something like this:
* Go to work
* Come home
* Have tea
* Watch telly
* Go to bed
Pretty standard, right? Loads of people probably have a similar rhythm. But when something disrupts that routine, it causes me a lot of anxiety. It feels like someone’s pulled the rug out from under me. I start worrying:
When will I have time to eat? What if I get home late? Will I miss my comfort show? Will I be tired tomorrow?
And then I spiral. It creates a kind of inner unrest that’s hard to shake.
The good news? I can usually manage these feelings—as long as I get enough notice. I’m not totally sure why, but if I know a change is coming, I can prep for it emotionally. For example, say I want to start going to the gym. That kind of shift would need planning:
* When can I go?
* When will I eat?
* What time will I be back?
If I’ve got all of that mapped out, I’m okay. But if someone asks me to go to the gym with 15 minutes’ notice—or suggests it after 7pm? That’s a big nope. Cue the inner chaos.
The tricky part is that not everything can be planned. Work, for example, loves to change or cancel things at the last minute. Sometimes for what my brain interprets as very trivial reasons. And that absolutely derails me. I feel frustrated, let down—like all the planning I did was wasted. Then I’m stuck not knowing when the meeting is actually going to happen, which just adds more unease.
It’s always been like this for me. I’ve always wanted to know what’s going on. Calendars can help… in theory. But if I’m expected to constantly check a calendar to keep up with changing plans or people’s availability, I’ll probably forget. Sometimes I even forget the calendar exists! And don’t get me started on the family calendar—it pings all day long, so I end up muting it… which, ironically, causes its own set of problems.
So, if we’ve made plans and something changes, please try to give me a bit of notice. That little heads-up might not seem like much, but to me, it makes all the difference.