When a big event is coming up it might feel exciting to plan something and keep it as a complete surprise, if you are the type of person who makes big surprises, surprises that involve not being at home or going somewhere new this might be really challenging for your neurodivergent person.
Surprises on the face of it are a really good idea, you want to do something for your special person and keep it from them until the big day because it brings YOU joy, consider them in your decision making, how will it make them feel? Is there a little bit of information you can give them to help ease the anxiety?
I am speaking from my own personal experience here but surprises are the worst thing on the planet, they allow me limited time to plan, I have no idea where we are going, will there be things I need to feel safe, I don’t know what will be there to eat it just creates a ‘perfect storm’ which will ultimately result in a panic attack or meltdown.
If your neurodivergent person is asking questions, over and over and over it isn’t to try and find out what the surprise is, they are anxious about what is going to happen, they are NOT trying to ruin your surprise.